Mystique's Wake
by Red Witch
Summary: When Mystique is turned to stone, the Brotherhood decide on a way to show their respect, or lack of it...


**I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. I was playing around with the idea of what the Brotherhood's 'funeral' for Mystique would be like. Of course you know Marvel has the habit of bringing the dead back to life so we know somehow that both Mystique and Magneto will come back in some shape or form. And now on with this. Whatever it is. **

**Mystique's Wake**

"Well what fun shall we have with Mystique?" Todd grinned as he looked at the stone statue before him. "What should we do with her first?"

"Well we could always paint her up and make her a lawn ornament," Fred grinned.

"Ooh! We could dress her up and play with her!" Todd said. 

"But first we need to have a wake," Pietro said. "I mean she is dead after all. I think." 

"Why?" Todd asked.

"To show some respect for her moron!" Wanda snapped.

"Since when did we have **any **respect for her?" Lance asked. 

"Hey it'll kill a couple of hours," Pietro shrugged.

"I'm in," Fred agreed. 

Less than an hour later there were some chairs set up outside with a small podium and flowers. Mystique was next to the podium. Pietro wore his priest costume and went up to speak. "Well ladies and gentlemen we've decided to show what little respect we have for Mystique by throwing her this wake," He said. "And believe me we had very little respect for her." 

"Amen to that!" Fred said.

"But now that she is gone to that great Brotherhood House in the sky…or in her case the one way underground," Pietro said. "It is time that we remember Mystique. That we share our memories of her."

"And more importantly we share her credit card balance and her stuff," Todd called out. "I got dibs on her room yo! I'm planning on turning it into a den!" 

"First we must grieve for Mystique," He bent down his head. "Okay I'm done! Anybody wanna share any memories of the old bat?" 

"Oooh! Oooh!" Todd waved his hand. "I'll go! I'll go!" I will always remember Mystique as someone who would always listen to me. And then she'd go ahead and blame me anyway. How many times did I get detention from her? How many bruises did I get from her? How many times did I have to hear her whiny annoying voice? I will miss her. Like I miss the chicken pox. Or getting my arm torn out of my sockets by a team of angry jocks." 

"My turn," Fred stood up. "What can I say about a lady like Mystique? Well she wasn't much of a lady for one thing!" 

"Bingo!" Todd nodded. 

"She was so mean that if you kicked her in the heart, you'd break your toe," Fred said. "Of course that's pretty much true the way she is now! I don't know what her problem was, but I bet it was hard to pronounce. Hopefully we will never see anyone like Mystique ever again, except maybe in our nightmares."

"I want to say something," Wanda said. "I'm kinda fuzzy on the details for some reason but I'm pretty sure Mystique was responsible in some way for bringing me here to live with you all. And that alone pretty much knocks off whatever sympathy I had for her in my book!"

"Well she was the leader of the Brotherhood," Lance said. "And she did bring us all together to live in this dump before she abandoned us. Before she left though I guess being leader was a thankless job. But I guess she had a lot of karma to burn off. So I think we should raise our glasses…or in our case our soda cans in a toast…To the first pigeon that poops on her. May it forever be blessed!" 

"You said it!" Todd shouted. 

"But you guys must have had some good memories of her," Wanda asked. "Didn't you?"

"No," Todd shook his head.

"No," Pietro shook his head. 

"Are you kidding?" Lance snorted.

"No…wait yes I do!" Fred said. "I remember I once had a nice quiet detention with her. Okay she was knocked unconscious at the time but…" He looked at the others. "I had an accident with a stray lunchbox. Don't ask." 

"Look the woman treated us like garbage and dumped us," Lance said. "Just like every other adult figure in my life." 

"Now my friends now is not a time of blame or recriminations," Pietro said. "Now is not the time for seeking revenge. Actually I can kind of sympathize with the guy that did this to her. I mean let's face it everyone she's ever met probably wanted to kill her."

"You got that right!" Lance said.

"Testify!" Fred called out. 

"What we must do is accept the fact that she is gone and is never coming back," Pietro said.

"We hope," Todd muttered.

"Now is the time for closure," Pietro continued. "Now is the time to put aside our anger and our rage. Now is the time…for serious payback!" He clicked on a tape player. "Join me in singing the following hymn which I think expresses our feelings for Mystique very appropriately!"

_"Ding, Dong the Witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding Dong the wicked witch is dead!" _ The tape player played. The Brotherhood (minus Wanda) sang along joyfully to the song. 

"You know as creepy as it was I do feel better," Lance said. "Hey funerals do help!" 

"Hey let's use her for a maypole!" Todd shouted. 

"All right I've got the schedule here," Pietro took out a piece of paper. "Now we all agree we need to take turns on playing with Mystique and you will note that I have reserved tomorrow night from 8 p.m. onward. I have a date with this girl who's really into modern art and sculpture and stuff so I figure you know for once Mystique could really help me!"

"You all need help from someone," Wanda groaned. 


End file.
